It is better to let others think you are an idiot than to have your candidate statement published and remove all doubt

So we got our voter guide in the mail today. The sad part is that most people probably throw it away without reading it. (Well, in Seattle, they recycle it without reading, but why quibble over details.) And this is a shame... not because of any social concerns about informed voting. No, this is a shame because this pamphlet is worth more than you pay for it.

For those of you not blessed to be living where it's rainy right now, you can find this whole book at vote.wa.gov
And you'll want to, because you're going to think I'm making this stuff up. Even after you look up the first thing, you'll think I used that as a set up to make up the rest of it. I affirm that I am not and provide the link to corroborate that affirmation.

So without further ado, I present the candidate I will not be voting for to be my next Representative. Democrat Goodspaceguy Nelson favors more tall buildings and movies being made in Washington state. And that seems reasonable enough. If he'd just add apple pie I think we could find some common ground. Anyway, here is just part of his campaign statement:

Goodspaceguy believes that the number one problem on Spaceship Earth is the tripling of people during the last hundred years. We numerous, brainy humans are exterminating wilderness and wildlife. Instead of starvation, genocide, and war, we should use nicer methods (such as the head tax and birth fees and study and work and social security) to decrease the number of people boarding Spaceship Earth. Goodspaceguy is pro choice on almost everything.

Goodspaceguy wants Orbital Space Colonization to be one of the great tasks for our new 21st Century. [...] After profitable success in Earth orbit, we should then build additional profitable colonies in orbit around the Moon and Mars, where solar power is also plentiful.

Meanwhile on computerized Spaceship Earth, Goodspaceguy wants us to raise the quality-of-life by longevity research and by getting more people working, ... Goodspaceguy wants more people studying at our colleges during the underutilized evenings and weekends.

...

Computer children of the Airplane Age, you should now begin building the Age of Space Colonization.

But despite all of that, I'll not be voting for Goodspaceguy... no, because on the next page over we have Independent Mark A Goldman. I have to prefer Mark to the spaceman because I figure someone has to save us from Goodspaceguy. And Mark starts out with this:

I rise to defend the moon and stars, the air we breathe, the oceans and the rivers, the plants, and all living things upon this our Mother Earth… and you… and your children… and your sacred poem… before the salmon die, before the birds stop singing; before the bees forget how to fly.

But then he had to ruin it by saying this:

Go to my web site and read: www.gpln.com.

Spend an hour, a day, a month there… until you understand.

Now how is he going to make me spend a month on his website just to understand? Rounding out my district we get to Al Schaefer. Al's big on fixing injustice and short on attention span. We get several disjoint ideas mostly quoting other crazy people and then this:

I propose these actions to correct injustices. With your help our proposals flower. Combined, with God’s help, our union can become tranquil again.

But if only I lived in the 8th district instead of the 7th, I could vote for someone with more experience. Keith Arnold has a bunch of experience in Washington that ended 'when George Bush "entered" [sic] the White House.' I guess Mr. Arnold's theory is that President Bush didn't really enter the White House but that it was more a figure of speech.

The central tenet of Keith's platform seems to be the elimination of the Supreme Court because he hates George Bush.

I proposed the Judiciary Act of 1993 to stop judicial barriers to this enforcement. Congress failed to pass my proposal. My Act would have stopped the supreme court from legislating from the bench by taking away all its power which would neutralize it until it could be eliminated by Constitutional Amendment. The supreme court is another appellate court and unnecessary due to the appellate courts below it.

With my 1993 Judiciary Act and no supreme court, Bush wouldn’t have “gotten” the 2000 Election, wouldn’t have “gotten” the White House, wouldn’t have changed our nation’s budget surplus into a record bankruptcy, wouldn’t have sent our troops to Iraq, wouldn’t spy on Americans without a warrant, nor done anything else to America and the world.

I am "amused" by his persistent use of so called "quotation" marks.

Ironically, he spends another paragraph praising Washington's new primary system. This would be the system that was passed in 2004 and declared unconstitutional shortly thereafter. We have it back this year as the Supreme Court overruled that lower courts order a few months ago.

Then we get to start looking at who's running for Governor. This will take more than one post.
Fact: Will Baker is running for governor.
Fact: Will Baker is incapable of putting one page of Coherent thought on paper.

Here's the whole thing because it deserves to be seen. My comments are interspersed in brackets.

Significant Career Experience: [This is above a line at the top where most people but Family, Career, Education, etc. It's the Biographical Section not the Candidate Statement. But things like that don't stop Will Baker] As a direct result of Will’s activist career, Will believes the number one issue in the 2008 Governor election should be the illegal and unethical election practices used by former U.S. Attorney/current Seattle University Law School Professor John McKay, Washington State Assistant Attorney General Jeffrey Even and Secretary of State of Washington Sam Reed. [Just for later I want you all to remember this is my number one issue.]

Fact: (Then) U.S. Attorney John McKay, Assistant State Attorney General Jeffrey Even and Secretary of State Sam Reed manipulated the 2004 statewide elections.

How?

Fact: McKay, Even and Reed cancelled the entire 2004 Washington State Primary Voters’ Pamphlet just to censor Will Baker. [That's right folks. These three Government officials have nothing better to with their time than censor Will Baker. And they'll stop at nothing. Dang, now that you all know that nobody is going to feel safe to come visit us.]

www.TheTruthRocks.com

Candidate Statement

I believe the number one issue in the 2008 Governor election should be the illegal and unethical election practices used by former Washington State Attorney General/current Washington State Governor Christine “The Cover-Up Queen” Gregoire. [I, personally believe that the number one issue is the McKay, Even, Reed controversy. And I'm going to vote for his other personality so that can be addressed.]

Fact: Former Washington State Attorney General/current Washington State Governor Christine “The Cover-Up Queen” Gregoire manipulates/rigs elections. [Not that anybody likes Christine Gregoire, nor doubts this but that title to refer to her is 14 words long.]

How?

Fact: One way is to illegally and/or unethically manipulate/rig the information that is supposed to be made available to the voters. [The more obvious way would be that if you don't have more votes you just count them again and again.]

How?
[The funny italics go on, but I'm getting tired of typing them in so we'll leave it at that.]
Fact: One way is to spend public dollars to pay state employees to keep quiet about scandals that could damage Christine “The Cover-Up Queen” Gregoire’s political machine. (Basically, brokering “whistle-blower silence for taxpayer cash” deals.) [Here he refers to her with only 5 words.]

The Brian Ebersole Story [I love the smooth transitions he uses.]

Fact: Brian Ebersole lived in Tacoma.

Fact: On November 2, 1982, Ebersole (Democrat) was elected to the Washington State legislature.

Fact: When Ebersole was in the legislature in the early 90’s, he was sued by state employees who stated Ebersole had coerced them into illegally campaigning for him on taxpayer time.

Fact: (Then) Washington State Attorney General Christine “The Cover-Up Queen” Gregoire (Democrat) “investigated” that scandal by paying the employees almost $1 million in taxpayer money to settle the cases and then Gregoire tried to keep the court records sealed from the public. [10 words. Keep in mind, she's the Governor, it's not like people don't know who he's talking about.]

[Brace yourselves, you are about to get sent to a website again. Not for a month, but just be warned.]
Visit www.TheTruthRocks.com and then please call “60 Minutes” at (212) 975-2006 and please press zero to speak with a live person
[The sad part is that once you call "60 Minutes", you won't know what to say because Will Baker didn't tell you.]

Well, that's enough for one night. I'll run through the rest of our gubernatorial candidates later.